Sunday, July 25, 2010

Feeling strangely great...

I had to share this, because it's something I haven't experienced in a while.  As I've mentioned before, I have a history of depression dating back to at least when I was a teenager, possibly even earlier.  I wasn't officially diagnosed until my early 20's.  It's not severe and it's been managed with fairly low doses of meds, on and off, for about 6 or 7 years.  I used to think it was SAD, until I started getting depressed in the summer too.  I have been off the meds since around January, because I was worried it would affect my TTC.  I felt like I was sliding back into depression in May, and that's when I started seeing the infertility counselor.  I've been feeling good this summer and not having my usual symptoms (not being able to get up in the morning, high anxiety, lack of concentration at work, etc)  Anyway, I took last week and this week off work (let's call it a "stay-cation", but actually it's because I'm re-taking the NJ bar exam. Long story, since I'm already licensed in PA, I don't really want to get into it now.  Let's keep it under our hats, shall we?)  I have been feeling absolutely GREAT this last week.  Is it because I'm getting about 10 hours of sleep a night?  Is it because the last 2 months of working and studying 24-7 is nearly over and I can finally enjoy my summer?  I don't know, but I can't remember the last time I felt this good.  On Friday night, I sat outside on my deck with my husband, books and a glass of wine for over 2 hours and it was absolutely divine, I tell you.  There were goldfinches and hummingbirds on the bird feeders, and it was a beautiful, balmy night.  Anyway, I want to memorialize this moment on my blog, because I don't feel this great that often!

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear you are feeling great! And off meds, no less. ;-)

    I don't envy you taking another bar exam. *shudder* That's one of several reasons why I have vowed to never move to another state. . . .