Ouch.

I ordered my Folli.stim for the upcoming cycle - the price was shocking!!  Over $1500 for 3 600 ml vials of it, plus the Ovi.drel.  I'm not familiar with the dosages of Folli.stim, but isn't 1800 ML a lot for one cycle?  Is this supposed to carry me through several cycles?  Any input is appreciated.  Ugh, I'm still reeling over this price. 

Feeling strangely great...

I had to share this, because it's something I haven't experienced in a while.  As I've mentioned before, I have a history of depression dating back to at least when I was a teenager, possibly even earlier.  I wasn't officially diagnosed until my early 20's.  It's not severe and it's been managed with fairly low doses of meds, on and off, for about 6 or 7 years.  I used to think it was SAD, until I started getting depressed in the summer too.  I have been off the meds since around January, because I was worried it would affect my TTC.  I felt like I was sliding back into depression in May, and that's when I started seeing the infertility counselor.  I've been feeling good this summer and not having my usual symptoms (not being able to get up in the morning, high anxiety, lack of concentration at work, etc)  Anyway, I took last week and this week off work (let's call it a "stay-cation", but actually it's because I'm re-taking the NJ bar exam. Long story, since I'm already licensed in PA, I don't really want to get into it now.  Let's keep it under our hats, shall we?)  I have been feeling absolutely GREAT this last week.  Is it because I'm getting about 10 hours of sleep a night?  Is it because the last 2 months of working and studying 24-7 is nearly over and I can finally enjoy my summer?  I don't know, but I can't remember the last time I felt this good.  On Friday night, I sat outside on my deck with my husband, books and a glass of wine for over 2 hours and it was absolutely divine, I tell you.  There were goldfinches and hummingbirds on the bird feeders, and it was a beautiful, balmy night.  Anyway, I want to memorialize this moment on my blog, because I don't feel this great that often!

Gearing up for IUI #4...

I was holding out the (irrational and unrealistic) hope that maybe I'd get magically pregnant naturally last cycle, but it didn't happen.  You would think after 30 cycles of negative pregnancy tests, I would learn my lesson.  It's highly unlikely to happen this month, too.  So, I'm gearing up for my 4th IUI next month.  I expect that it will probably happen the 3rd week in August.  Unfortunately, that is when I was planning to spend time down at the beach with my family, but the IUI takes precedence.  I seriously considered putting the IUI off another month so that I could have some beach time this summer, but I don't want to drag it out anymore.  I want to get in at least 2 injectable IUI cycles before the end of the year so that we can pursue IVF early next year, if necessary.  I'm going to order the meds next week so I'll be ready to go. 

We just planned a fun trip to Colorado the week before Christmas and may also take a Caribbean vacation over Thanksgiving.  We also are going to DH's hometown over Labor Day for a wedding, so we have some travel to look forward to in the next few months.

A quick apology...

A quick apology for the goofed-up design of the blog this week.  I'm updating the design and it may look jacked up for a few days... Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

Two quick book recommendations...

I'm reading two great books about coping with infertility that I thought I'd share.  They are both pretty popular among the infertile crowd.  I wish I'd read them a long time ago.  All the other fertility related books I have read tell me "use my method and you'll get pregnant right away!" (I'm looking at you, Taking Charge of Your Infertility and The Infertility Cure.)  I do recommend "Taking Charge" and "The Infertility Cure" to people who are just starting the TTC process, but I find them to be somewhat misleading in their claims to "cure" infertility.

Anyway, I highly recommend these books:

Conquering Infertility by Alice Domar
and
A Few Good Eggs by Maureen Regan and Julie Vargo