Somewhere out there...

I was cleaning out our crawlspace today and came upon a box of my old stuff from when my parents moved out of my childhood home.  It was mostly things that were in my old bedroom.  I found two music boxes that I had completely forgotten that I owned.  I don't even remember now when they were given to me or by whom.  But, one of them plays that song "Somewhere Out There."  I'm going to put it on my dresser with all my baby talismans (St. Gerard medal, fertility crystals, etc.) to remind me that my baby is somewhere out there in the universe.

In other news, I had a scan this morning.  I don't remember how many follies there were - I believe there were 3 or 4 dominant ones total.  The doc is increasing my Follistim dose to 200 units.  I guess he thinks I'm not responding quite good enough.  My next scan will be Monday.

I've decided to register for an 8k in Philly taking place about a month and a half from now.  I ran a 5k pretty easily back in April and I think I'm up for the challenge.  The Bunny will run it with me.  I know I'm not supposed to run or jog during the treatment, but I'll talk to the doc about it Monday.  The inactivity is really getting me down.  Hopefully they'll let me do a little running, as long as I take it easy.

It's officially official - IUI#4 = FAIL

"AF" arrived today (12 DP IUI).  So that's that.  We're going right into IUI #5.  I can't believe I'm typing that - I long for the naive days when I thought I'd conceive on my first or second IUI. This will be our last IUI of the year.  If we get lucky, it will work.  If not, we'll try naturally (which is a joke at this point) till the new year, then re-evaluate at that time.  It's looking like IVF may be in the cards for next year.  My first monitoring appointment will be Wednesday.

I tested today and ...

BFN.  I knew waking up this morning that my period is on her way.  All the signs were there.  I'm not even going to bother testing again, there's no point, really.  I'm disappointed but not inconsolable.  On to IUI #5 and cycle #34 (!!) TTC.

Notes from the 7 DP IUI monitoring appointment...

I had my 7 DP IUI monitoring appointment this morning.  When I was taking the Clomid, they simply did bloodwork to check my progesterone level.  With the injectables, they also do an ultrasound to make sure the ovaries look OK.  Mine looked fine - the doctor counted 4 "CL's" (I assume she meant corpus luteum's (lutei?) - 2 on each side.  Does this mean that I ovulated 4 eggs??  I didn't ask.  Anyway, they said they'd call if my progesterone was low and have me start suppositories.  They didn't call, so I assume it was OK.  I won't test (or probably post) again till Monday, which will be 12 DP IUI.  This time, they told me to wait until 14 DP IUI, and if no period, call them to schedule a beta the following day.  So, theoretically I may have a beta next Thursday.  We shall see - one thing at a time.

Geez... thanks a lot, pajama pants.

I've had these flannel pajama pants for about 7 years.  They've come in handy during these bloated days due to their forgiving drawstring waist.  When I was putting them on, I noticed the tag.

 

 Gosh, even my pajama pants are telling me to "just relax."

4 DP IUI

I'm checking in today, 4 DP IUI.  I'm having major GI issues (mainly constipation) and lots of cramping and lower back pain.  I'm not sure if it's my digestive system or my uterus which is the source of the cramping.  My boobs are sore, but I believe that is from the HCG trigger.  I've been very "good" this cycle so far about not drinking coffee or alcohol.   Past cycles, I kept drinking coffee and had a drink or two during the 2ww, partly because I didn't think it would hurt anything if I did.  This time, I'm trying to really take care of my body, just in case this IUI worked.  Mentally, I'm feeling very calm and positive.

Still testing out the trigger and it was positive as of today.  I'll keep testing every other day till it's gone, then stop testing till hopefully next Monday (12 DPO).  We're heading out of town to Virginia next weekend for an ultimate frisbee tournament that Bunny is playing in.  I won't bring any tests with me, so that I won't be tempted!

Just for fun, here's the series so far.  The numbers next to the tests are days past trigger.  Based on previous cycles, the tests turn negative by around 8 DPT.  These are Wondfo tests, which I find to be accurate.  I have a zillion of them.  Thanks for all the comments - I was hearing crickets around here for awhile!  Glad to hear you all are reading and supporting me - I appreciate it!

IUI was this morning...

I had the IUI this morning.  Bunny's post-wash count was 26 million, not too shabby.  When I signed the paper saying that the sample was his, I noticed a note at the bottom saying something about liquefaction and "reduced motility."  The doctor and nurse didn't comment on it, though, just said that it was a good count.  If these IUI's fail, I'll ask them about it.  It makes me wonder if something is up with Bunny's semen.  I've been having ovulation pain on both sides since last night.  Hopefully I will O some time today.  I plan to test out the trigger till it's gone, then hopefully stop until at least 10 or 11 DPIUI.  The good thing is that we're going away next weekend, so I can leave the tests at home and that will stop me from caving!

Triggering tonight!

I had my last monitoring appointment this morning.  I have two big follies (both measuring around 20mm) on the right side, plus a few smaller ones which probably won't produce an egg.  I've gotten the go ahead to trigger tonight.  The IUI will be on Wednesday morning (CD 13).  I'm stoked because I only went though one vial of Follistim, so I have a ton left (2 600mcg vials) for future IUI's.  If we repeat next month (here's hoping we won't need to!) then I'll only need to order Ovidrel.  It's always nice to save a dollar or two (or several hundred)...

Quick monitoring update... CD9

The monitoring appointment this morning turned up one dominant follicle at 16mm and a few smaller ones.  The doc thinks I'll probably trigger Monday or Tuesday.  It seems quite early, since Monday is only CD 11.  He said he has high hopes for me this cycle, but if this one doesn't work they may increase the Follistim dose next time so I'll have more mature follicles.  I'm still on 100 mcg.  I haven't even gotten through one vial of the meds this month, so hopefully the other two vials in my fridge will carry me for another cycle.  I'll check in again on Monday.

The doctors keep telling me that everything is "perfect" and that they think I'll get pregnant this time, but it doesn't ever actually happen.  I'm not going to get my hopes up until I see a positive pregnancy test.  Not sure yet whether I'll test out the trigger, but I probably will.  I'm really going to try and hold off starting "official" testing until at least 12 DPO.  Let's see if I have the discipline!

CD 7 - monitoring appt...

I had my second monitoring appointment this morning.  This time it was a nurse practitioner I hadn't seen before.  She just did a very quick wanding and told the nurse (not me) what she saw.  It was all a blur but I believe she said that there were eight follicles on one side and nine on the other??  Either that or she was saying that there was one that measured 8 mm and one that measured 9.  All she told me was that I have follicles growing but they need to keep monitoring me.  I'm still on 100 mcg of the Follistim and I'll go back for my third appt on Saturday.  I assume my bloodwork was OK, since they didn't call me with the results or tell me to change my dosage.

Baseline ultrasound...

I had my first ultrasound and bloodwork this morning.  The uterine lining is "nice and thin" according to the doctor.  I have 7 possible follicles on either side.  I don't really know what that means exactly, or how many will actually develop into eggs, but the doctor said it's very good.  I'll start 100 IU Follistim tonight and go in for my next ultrasound and bloodwork on Thursday.

CD1 - it's on...

AF arrived today very unexpectedly.  This was my shortest cycle yet - 25 days, with a 10 day luteal phase.  Freaks me out a little.  I have my first monitoring appt on Monday morning and will be starting the Follistim then as well... wish me luck.

Acupuncture, take 2

I started acupuncture again yesterday.  I found a new practitioner close to work which will be much more convenient.  I had my consultation, and she told me that I'm showing signs of liver, kidney and some spleen deficiency.  She also said my heart pulse was weak.  So, I'll be getting treatment once a week for a few weeks, then down to maybe once every two weeks.  I really missed it.  I'm 9 DPO today and don't feel especially pregnant, so I doubt I am.  I had some major GI issues over the weekend which haven't fully resolved, but I was traveling and eating lots of rich food, so that's probably the cause.  I had a lot of cramping and pressure in my abdomen yesterday, but not putting much stock in any of it.  I'm expecting AF on Monday, then it's on for IUI #4!

The Hail Mary cycle

I'm on CD15 of our "Hail Mary" cycle before we do IUI #4.  I've been using the CBE monitor this month and got "peak" days on Saturday and Sunday, a glaring positive OPK yesterday and I think I ovulated this morning from the left side.  We did the deed accordingly.  I'm going to start seeing a new acupuncturist near my office - I'm waiting for her to call and schedule a consultation.  I've really missed it since I stopped going in February and I've decided it's worth the expense.  I'm going to try and do IUI #4 and 5 back to back in Sept / Oct, then if they both fail we'll reevaluate in the New Year.  I'm feeling good mentally and enjoying what's left of the summer.  I hope you all are doing well - things have been quiet around here so I hope someone is still reading.  I don't track my analytics because I'm terrified of finding out that someone I know in real life is reading.  I don't know why that freaks me out, but it does!

A change in plans...

We decided last night to postpone this IUI until September.  The juggling of work obligations, family obligations and other commitments this month was getting to be too much for both of us.  We have a lot going on this month, both work-wise and family-wise, so we decided last night to put off the IUI till September, when we have nothing going on.  My plan for this month is to exercise as much as possible, as I am carrying a few extra pounds as a result of studying for the bar exam day and night.  I also want to enjoy the little bit of summer that we have left.  I'm going to try out my recently acquired Clear.blue Easy Fer.tility Mon.itor for the first time this month.  I'll check in later this month with "CBEFM" reports.

Meds are here!

Got the meds on Thursday.  They came in a huge box, but barely filled the bottom of it.  At least my cats have a new box to play with.  I'm expecting AF this Friday, then the monitoring will start the following week.  Should be fun!

Ouch.

I ordered my Folli.stim for the upcoming cycle - the price was shocking!!  Over $1500 for 3 600 ml vials of it, plus the Ovi.drel.  I'm not familiar with the dosages of Folli.stim, but isn't 1800 ML a lot for one cycle?  Is this supposed to carry me through several cycles?  Any input is appreciated.  Ugh, I'm still reeling over this price. 

Gearing up for IUI #4...

I was holding out the (irrational and unrealistic) hope that maybe I'd get magically pregnant naturally last cycle, but it didn't happen.  You would think after 30 cycles of negative pregnancy tests, I would learn my lesson.  It's highly unlikely to happen this month, too.  So, I'm gearing up for my 4th IUI next month.  I expect that it will probably happen the 3rd week in August.  Unfortunately, that is when I was planning to spend time down at the beach with my family, but the IUI takes precedence.  I seriously considered putting the IUI off another month so that I could have some beach time this summer, but I don't want to drag it out anymore.  I want to get in at least 2 injectable IUI cycles before the end of the year so that we can pursue IVF early next year, if necessary.  I'm going to order the meds next week so I'll be ready to go. 

We just planned a fun trip to Colorado the week before Christmas and may also take a Caribbean vacation over Thanksgiving.  We also are going to DH's hometown over Labor Day for a wedding, so we have some travel to look forward to in the next few months.

Breaking the bank

I got a friendly letter from the RE on Saturday, stating that their price for the IUI with injectables is over $1500.00 and it must be paid at my first appointment.  This doesn't cover the price of the medications, which are looking like they will be about $750 per cycle.  I am insured through my husband's job, and they provide absolutely no coverage for any infertility treatment whatsoever.  They recently changed our prescription coverage, but they they don't cover injectable fertility medications of any kind.  We are fortunate that our state (NJ) mandates fertility coverage by law, but unfortunately my husband works in Pennsylvania and our plan is administered in PA.  So, we don't get that benefit either.  I know it's been said over and over again, but it is fundamentally unfair that many health insurance plans cover pregnancy, contraception, and erectile dysfunction but don't cover infertility treatment.  It's not our fault that we are infertile.  I didn't do anything to cause my infertility.  We are being punished for something that we have no control over.  It is so frustrating!  So, we are most likely going to have to clean out our savings (and possibly our retirement accounts if we end up doing IVF). 

On that note, if anyone knows which pharmacy is the cheapest for Folli.stim, Lu.pron, etc. please let me know.  I am using a NJ-based mom and pop pharmacy, but I don't know if their prices are cheapest.

RE consultation today...

I just got back from our consult with the RE.  We met with one of the nurse practitioners, who was very nice.  The plan is to do a few more IUI's with Follistim, then possibly on to IVF.  She says it's totally up to us how many more IUI's we want do to, since we are paying out of pocket.  She said that the success rate with Clomid is actually only about 5% (I had been told 20%) but that the injectables have a much better success rate.  We'll probably do 2 or 3, then move on to IVF.  Their IVF price isn't as high as some that I've seen - she said it's about $6000 plus the cost of drugs.  She said if we do move on to IVF we will have a very high chance of success, as much as 70%, due to my age.  Their general success rate is about 45%, but she says that in women my age (under 35), they normally only transfer one good-quality embryo and about 70% of these women get pregnant.  So, some reassuring news.  We'll do the first injects cycle in August.  I can't do it sooner due to work obligations, which would interfere with monitoring appointments.  I'll continue to check in from time to time.