How time flies! J is now 6 months old, I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to post. It's definitely been an experience to say the least. Things got pretty tough about a month after J was born. S was fine at first, but started having issues adjusting to his new baby brother. Combine this with the holiday season, and poor S was really out of sorts. He gets weirded out and overwhelmed by new or different situations (such as parties with a lot of people, opening Christmas gifts, etc) He usually reacts by acting out or getting really hyperactive. Well, he acted out for about 2 months straight. I don't even have any pictures from Christmas, because he opened one gift, then started running around the tree kicking everything. It was really upsetting for both of us - what happened to our sweet little boy? Luckily, things calmed down after the holidays and now he adores his little brother. He's going to be 3 this summer (!!!) He's a wonderful kid, very bright and happy. The child care situation has been a challenge, more on that in another post.
J is doing great as well. He is 6 1/2 months old and developing wonderfully. He's a very happy, smiley and easygoing baby. He sleeps pretty well - he doesn't nap very much but tends to sleep from 7:30p - 5:30a without waking up. He's much easier than S was, maybe because we're a little wiser!
I had a rough time of it as well. Starting shortly after J was born, I would have days where I felt absolutely horrid. Just in a terrible mood and really feeling like I couldn't cope. Picking fights with the Bunny, yelling at S, just feeling like crap. Horrible intrusive negative thoughts - nothing about harming the baby or myself but lots of "you're a lousy mom," "the boys deserve better," etc. I had major issues with my milk supply and had to start supplementing when J was a few weeks old, this made me feel like a failure. It got worse when I went back to work full-time in January. To add to the mix, my law firm bank accounts got audited (something that happens to every NJ attorney eventually) and that caused me so much stress that I couldn't eat or sleep. I lost about 10 lbs in 3 weeks and my milk started drying up. Finally in early February, a colleague convinced me to talk to my OB about it - he diagnosed me with PPD. He put me on 50mg zoloft and I finally started feeling better after about 3 weeks on the medication. I'm off the meds now, exercising and feeling 100% better. Looking back, I realize how bad it was.
I won't lie, having two children in diapers is challenging to say the least. It's very hard on us and our marriage, but we've gotten into a routine and now we have wonderful in-home childcare. Looking forward to a fun summer with our boys!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
As I write this, J is 5 weeks old. He is a dream baby, very relaxed and easygoing. He was slow to gain weight at first, but as of this week he is 9 lb. He has started smiling! It is a lot easier than I expected with a second baby, especially because I'm not as anxious as before. He's just kind of joined our household and our routine, we've managed to get out more and do fun stuff with S. Here's the long-awaited birth story!
At 4:15 AM, I woke with cramping. I kind of had a feeling that things may be starting. I tossed and turned for awhile, trying to get back to sleep. Finally got up at 5AM. As soon as I went into the bathroom, my water broke. It surprised me and I cursed and turned on the bathroom light, waking up the Bunny. I told him to go back to sleep.
I went downstairs, called my mom to come over, drank a cup of tea and ate some cereal. I was having very minor contractions every 10 mins or so. I called the doc and they told me to wait 4 hours to see if contractions start, if they don’t get going at least 5 minutes apart to call at 9AM.
S woke at 6:30 and we went through his usual morning routine. My mom arrived and S was very suspicious. He just wanted to snuggle next to me, I think he knew what was coming, though I didn’t tell him I was having the baby that day.
The Bunny took S to daycare and we got our things together for the hospital. It was a beautiful, sunny morning and unseasonably warm. At 9:30 I called the doctor and was told to go to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital and were checked in. The Bunny started getting woozy and had to wait in the waiting area. I was only 1 cm dilated. The triage nurse, when she found out I was an immigration lawyer, went on a crazy tirade about “anchor babies” and how people are coming over from the Middle East to have babies here. Totally nuts and a really inappropriate conversation to have with a patient! The student nurse and I rolled our eyes at each other.
I was sent up to a L&D room and met my nurse, who was FANTASTIC. I was given half a cytotec to get the contractions going, they got going pretty quickly. I called my sister to come to the hospital later, I had a feeling I would need her there if the Bunny got woozy again. The contractions got going about every 3 minutes. They brought in a rocking chair and I rocked through the contractions for about 2 hours.
The doctor was MIA when they wanted to check me, as she was for most of my labor. Eventually another doc checked me and I was at about 3 1/2 cm. They offered an epidural but I wanted to wait until I was at least 5 cm. However, I was in a lot of pain, so I said I’d get it in an hour.
My sister arrived just as they were about to put in the epidural. What an ordeal. The doc inserted the catheter but something wasn’t right with it because I felt a strong jolt in my left leg when she moved it. She had to remove it and start over, TWICE! Finally on the third attempt, she called in another anesthesiologist to check it. It was in the space, but just barely. It was very hard to sit in that position for over 30 minutes, my neck was killing me. She felt horrible about it. My legs were starting to get numb, so I took it as a good sign.
I had pain relief for about an hour, then started feeling the contractions again, though not at bad as before. However, I could feel when the nurse checked me. Another doc came and gave me an extra shot of medication through the epidural catheter, that helped for awhile.
At 5:40, the doc ordered that I be put on Pitocin. This ticked me off, because she never came to ask me if that’s what I wanted or discussed it with me at all. She was obviously in a big hurry for me to deliver. She even called the nurse to make sure that she started it. I complained to the nurse about it and she just gave me the smallest dose possible.
Around 6PM, they checked me and I was at 6cm. I was really disappointed, I thought I would have been further along. I was in quite a lot of pain at this point. The nurse recommended that we use the “peanut ball” to put me on my side and speed things along. It’s a peanut-shaped exercise ball that they put between your legs. The minute I turned over, I suddenly felt an incredible pain and pressure. It felt like the baby was going to come out of my butt. The nurse said I’d have to endure it, but after laying on my side for a few minutes I was having a strong urge to push. My sister ran for the nurse, they checked me and I was complete. I went from 6 to complete in about 15 minutes! The MIA doc came and had me push once, then she disappeared again. She had another patient about to deliver and she had to check on her. I had to breathe through 2 contractions, which was agony. Thankfully, the doc came back and suited up for the delivery.
I pushed for about 20 minutes, through about 8 contractions. I can’t really describe it, other than to say I was in pure agony. Hats off to moms who go through natural childbirth, I would never be able to do it again. Finally, at 7PM, J came out, with one hand next to his head and his cord wrapped around his neck! He was totally fine, though, and I got to hold him for a few seconds when he came out. I was shocked to see what dark hair he has and commented on how blue he looked (he hadn’t yet taken a breath). I had a second degree tear which was stitched up. J scored 8/9 on his apgars. My sister was super excited to have witnessed the birth.
S visited the next day. He acted very oddly toward me at the hospital, he wouldn’t come over near the bed or look at the baby. I think it freaked him out a little bit that I was in bed in the hospital, he didn’t understand what was going on. Thank goodness my mom brought him a helium “big brother” balloon, which he played with and then she read him a book to break the ice.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
As I'm sure you guessed, he's here! Baby JJ was born on Tuesday, October 14 at 7pm. He was 7lb 4oz, 20.5 inches and is perfect. I'll post the birth story soon, here's the crib notes version: water broke at 5AM, admitted to hospital at 9:30 AM 1 cm dilated, epidural at 4 cm, epidural failed, pitocin at 6cm, went from 6 cm to complete in 10 mins, he was born in about 8 agonizing pushes. He's very relaxed, sleepy and a great nurser so far. Here's a pic!
Friday, October 10, 2014
Here I am, 2 days away from my due date and still nothing! Thankfully the headache went away, but the days are dragging on. I had a doc appt on Monday and he said I was barely 1 cm. I worked almost the whole week just to keep busy, luckily I can come and go as I please. I stayed home today, though, cause I didn't sleep well last night. I've had cramping and the odd contraction all week, but every time I think something is starting, it stops. My MIL is coming for the weekend, fingers crossed that he comes soon!
Saturday, October 4, 2014
I'll be 39 weeks on Monday. Things have taken a turn for the miserable. Unlike when I was at this stage with S, I am having super uncomfortable cramping and intermittent contractions if I walk around too much. I think it's because the baby is super low, so when he is moving around his head is right against my cervix. To make matters worse, I have had a splitting headache for 5 days. I actually went to the OB about it on Wednesday, because I haven't had a headache like this in a long time. But my blood pressure is normal and I'm having no other symptoms, so they're just calling it a migraine. Nearly a week has gone by and my head is still splitting. I have a high pain tolerance normally, but it is nearly unbearable and tylenol barely puts a dent in it. I called the OB today to see what he suggests, so he called me in a prescription for tylenol with codeine. I go to pick it up this afternoon and the pharmacy (Schmalgreens) refuses to fill it, saying that I should not be taking codeine if pregnant, even though my OB is the one who called it in. I drove home in tears. Ugh, I'm just praying that I go into labor soon, I can't take any more! On the positive side, I'm pretty much wrapped up at work and don't have to go in anymore if I don't feel like it.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
3 weeks to go! I'm really in the home stretch now. I had my Group B Strep test last week (negative, thank goodness) and did an internal exam since I was already undressed. I'm a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced! There's not much going on down there, I'm only having BH contractions a few times a day, a little bit of cramping and pressure, but I think he'll stay put for at least another 2 weeks. I'm having non-stress tests at my weekly OB appointment but they have been fine so far. I'm still frantically trying to get my work done, I'll feel much better once I wrap everything up. Unfortunately I've had some angry and complaining clients over the last few weeks but I'm doing my best and realize I can't please everyone. I'll update again next week. Fingers crossed that he comes a little early!
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Still hanging in here at 35 weeks! Just a few weeks till October 12. I'm hoping I'll go a little early this time. It's more difficult at this stage for me than it was with Baby S. The baby's head is really low, and when he moves it around it feels really uncomfortable against my cervix and also like I might pee my pants! I'm as big now as I was when S was born, I can't even imagine how I'll be in 5 weeks. I'm running out of maternity clothes that fit. I'm still working a lot (though I have blocked out some "work at home" days so that I can rest). The Bunny is helping me more with S and around the house, it's getting too hard to wrangle our very energetic 2 year old. We're pretty much ready for the arrival of (as yet nameless) baby brother, I brought up the infant clothes, bassinet, etc. and made some cute curtains for his room. A friend will lend us her crib when her toddler is done with it, until then he'll sleep in the bassinet or rock n' play. S is still in his crib, we're keeping him in it till he's ready to go to his "big boy" bed, which is currently in baby brother's room. I'll try to update more often from here on out!